i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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