Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
