hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
