omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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