He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
