I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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