Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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