Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Farmville is her only friend.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
