Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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