I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
