a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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