Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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