do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
