Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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