Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
