Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
