Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize