I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
