Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize