I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
