I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
