Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
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He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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