like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
