Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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