the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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