I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
