Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
