I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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