I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
