I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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