id be glad to
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
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PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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