i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
