He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
