Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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