i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
