I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
