just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
