So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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