No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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