none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
