Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
