I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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