AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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