sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
