I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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