I cannot find my penis.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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