quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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