If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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