that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize