he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
