"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
