dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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