Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
