Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
