how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
