Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have aggressive nipples.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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