Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
