Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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