I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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