We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
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i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
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me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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