ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
