my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
