she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
