At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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